My love life secrets

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Been Tagged

My friend Deva sent this meme along, which may be just the kick in the ass to get me writing again.

Four jobs I've had:    
1. Secretary
2. Police Officer    
3. Emergency Natural Gas Tech. (the people with the ladders
who fix leaks)    
4. Corrections Officer

Four movies I can watch over and over:  
1. Bed of Roses (love story)
2. Hellraiser  (lots of blood)  
3. The Wizard of Oz
4. Madagascar (I love the penguins that escape)

Four places I have lived: Very Boring, always Ohio    
1. Mentor, Ohio    
2. Willioughby, Ohio   
3. Madison, Ohio    
4. Columbus, Ohio

Four television shows I love to watch:  

1. Lost
2.  Football 
3. Law and Order
4. Threshold (unfortunately canceled)

Four places I have been on vacation:    
1. Palm Beach, California
2. Kauai, Hawaii    
3. Cruise in the Caribbean    
4. Ny, NY

Four of my favorite dishes:    
1. Steak and Bake Potato    
2. White Chicken Chili
3. Eel Sushi
4. Boneless Buffalo chicken

Four websites I visit daily:    
1. The devolution
2. Prison Talk Online    
3. 5/3 (to check on the money I don't have)    
4. Yahoo mail

Four places I would rather be right now:    
1. Sacramento, California   
2. any Caribbean island (with my friend D)    
3. any Hawaiian island   (with my friend D) 
4. any Mediterranean island (and oh yea have I said with my friend D)

Four bloggers I am tagging:    (Not so much because they ought feel obligated to answer this, but as an excuse to point any readers in their direction.)
1. The Devolution   
2. makaylasmommy.blogspot.com
3. The Drunken Lagomorph
4. pop sugar

Keeping in Touch With a Loved One in Prison

My payer is everyone who knows someone in prison backs Representative Bobby Rush on the Bill to make calls more affordable.

Published: January 14, 2006
One way to cut down on the number of inmates who end up right back in prison shortly after being released is to make sure that they preserve their ties with their families, especially with spouses and children, while they are serving time. But keeping in touch is often impossible for inmates and their families because of state prison systems that earn huge profits from inmates' phone calls by forcing the family members who receive those collect calls to pay usurious rates. As a result, a family must often choose between talking to a loved one in prison and putting food on the table.

A bill introduced in Congress by Representative Bobby Rush, Democrat of Illinois, would help end this shameful practice by requiring the Federal Communications Commission to set fair rates for interstate phone calls made from prison. The bill will surely face fierce opposition from the telecommunications lobby and from state prison systems that have grown accustomed to gouging the poorest families in the country to subsidize some prison-related activities. But the current arrangement is both counterproductive and morally indefensible.

State prison systems typically use telephone setups that permit only collect calls, made through providers that keep a monopoly on prison telephone service by paying the states a "commission" - essentially a legal kickback. The kickback does not materialize out of thin air. The people who receive the phone calls often pay as much as six times the going rate. Not surprisingly, the costs discourage inmates from keeping in touch with spouses and children who may live hundreds of miles away and find it difficult or impossible to visit.

Federal prisons use a significantly less expensive debit-calling system, which lets inmates use the money accumulated in computer-controlled accounts to place easily monitored calls to a limited group of phone numbers. The Rush bill would require prisons to use both collect-calling and debit-calling systems. It would also prohibit providers from paying kickbacks to prison systems, and would require each prison system to allow more than one phone company to enter the market. In addition, the law would not let prison phone providers refuse to place calls to phone numbers served by rival companies.

Prison systems are likely to argue that the current arrangement is just fine because it helps pay for programs that benefit the inmates. But the high phone rates are actually a hidden tax on people who already pay for the prisons through their taxes. Beyond that, the states should not be in the business of bleeding low-income families - and fraying already fragile family ties - to pay for services that the state itself is obligated to provide.

Catching up on my life.

Thursday 1/12/06 I was fired from the job I really liked. On Friday I was given my evaluation, it sucked, I have never gotten a bad evaluation. I was written up for things like not using the spell check. Now we have tickets to do. They are questions sent in by customers that need answering. When they run a QA on the tickets there were no spelling errors. So why do I have to run spell check. Our spell check at work recognizes a slang word for orgasm but doesn't recognize a .com company when we are one. I asked R to fight for a better evaluation and was told that it didn't matter. Evaluations don't count for anything. My answer was why have them then. This was just some of the stuff that R does. So, I approached J to request a shift change so that a friend and I could save money on gas by driving in to work together. I told him the reason, saving on gas, sending more time with my dog at night. He then asked me if there were any problems with R. I mentioned a few. He came in and closed the door to his office we barely saw him for the rest of the night. I was told by J to file a complaint on R, that R would never see the complaint and it would just reinforce my request for second shift. Like an idiot I trusted the boss and wrote it up. Now let me tell you don't put anything in writing, especially when your a temp. So after J told me to put it in writing he then proceeded to hang me out to dry. We had a meeting and J lied. Said it wasn't his idea to write up the complaints on R. Now R ran the meeting and proceeded to lie. Said he was always available to answer questions when needed and that his office door was always open. None of which is true. At this meeting J looked me straight in the eyes and told me there would be no retaliation on the complaint. That was Tuesday, I worked Wednesday and was let go on Thursday. So much for believing a boss. So the job hunt is on.

The answer!

I spoke with Raven this morning. I decided no games, I love him to much for that, I just asked him why he felt it was ok to lie to me when it came to Baby mama. He swears he told me that he was writing the kids and sending them pictures. I don't remember that. Plus, that is not how she worded it. She made it sound like the letter was from him to her. Pictures included. He said he was sorry, I told him I didn't like being blindsided by her. We strapped on the boots and gloves had it out and got over it. He promised not to write her unless it was about the kids. Then he would tell me as soon as he started to write her name on a piece of paper. My comment was that the kids are old enough he shouldn't have to write her at all. He should be able to just write the kids. We are talking about 15 and above, not 5 and below. I still feel there is no reason to write her. Especially since it is obvious that she will try and cause problems. Men, they can be so stubborn. I hope he knows what he is doing.

Not Again. Bobbijobillysuetinamarie and the phone call, part 2

Since apparently this shit is going to happen once a year. I will just recap and copy and paste. I asked Raven today had he written Bobbijobillysuetinamarie. Her daughter is pregnant and he had helped raise her. He said no. Now I found out not only did he write her but he sent her pictures. Pictures that I copied for him. How did I find out since he lied. Bobbi Jo called me to update us on her daughter's pregnancy. In the process she casually mentions. "Oh tell Billy I got his letter and thanks for the pictures." Now on the off chance she is lying I say. "oh what pictures did he send you" She then describes the most recent pictures. So again I am lied too. I can't believe it. I never would have believed after the last incident he would do it again. This is the man who can't lie to the parole board so he can come home. The man who would rather do more time in prison then to compromise his values by lying. Maybe he doesn't stick to that code with everyone. Me, he can lie too. So rather then rehash the whole entire story I am just going to copy and paste the first time this happened. What I thought would never happen again. Here we go:

So last night I get a call from my mans' mom. She wants me to call Bobbie Joe. Incase you haven't read the baby mama drama post. That would be Raven's son Joey's mother. Now some of you may know that nothing good can come from a call to the baby's mama. It's kind of like a car accident. You know you shouldn't look yet you slow down and stare. You know there is absolutely no reason to talk to your man's ex; but she may just give you that interesting little tidbit of information that you would never get anywhere else, and you can't live with out. yea right. Just in case anybody doubts the intentions of an ex girlfriend of their men. let me tell you right now they are not concerned with either you or your man being happy and well cared for. oh they will sound like they just want the men to be happy and their are glad they are with someone who loves and cares about them. they are lying, just pumping for information. They could give a shit about you and your men. Ok let me clarify that they could give a shit about you. The man is a whole other issue. Let me stop sounding like a lecture and start sounding like a woman who has a bad night followed by a not so good day. Bobbie Joe didn't care about what I thought or what my relationship is with Raven. It started like a normal conversation she told me all about Joey's and how he does in football and in school all things I thought I could pass on to Raven. Then somehow the conversation turned and she was informing me of every charge and crime that she could think of about Raven. Now my man and I do not have any secrets
from each other, or so I thought. I knew about everything she said, except the sentence, Oh yea I got a letter from Raven the other day. Then she proceeds to read the letter out loud to me. There was a section in there referring to me as his girlfriend. Now Raven and I have called each other husband and wife for 9 months now. The funny part of this whole situation is that I told him to write to her and his son. So why when I asked him did he say no I haven't written her. When its obvious by the date on her letter that he lied to me. Never would I have thought that could happen. So I make it through the night after talking with Bobbie Joe and call my best friend D. She and I talked long enough for me to calm down and think about how the conversation would go with Raven in the morning.
The call came in at about 8:30 a.m. it started like a regular day, Hi baby, I love you, I love you too, babyboy. So how are you today? fine. So then he asks the question that opens the flood gates, Baby you don't seem like my cheerful wife today. So I ask, do I sound like a cheerful girlfriend? So he knew something was up. I told him about the conversation with Bobbie Joe. Asked him why he felt he had to lie about writing her. He had no answer at first. Tried to say he didn't lie. I told him not to compound the problem. I knew the truth. It was definitely a rough day at the home today. One of the issues with a relationship with a convict is the insecurities that come with having met him while he is down. You hear a lot of stories about how inmates will use women on the outside and when they are let out they will dump them. This whole drama plays on those insecurities. It's not about the time or the money involved with the relationship, it's about the heart, the soul and the love. I adore my husband, love him with all my being, so to hear him refer to me as a girlfriend to the woman who had his child was painful, to say the least. So I did what every good women does faced with something like this, I cried, allot. He tried to defend his position, tried to make me feel better. I told him I just didn't have it in me to try and make him feel better right now that it had to be about me. I needed him to pay attention and answer my concerns. I asked him if he really wanted to be with me, to come home to me, when he gets out. He said yes, asked" why would I want to loose the only woman has ever loved me for me, stood by me and believed in me. The only person I can trust and who I will love forever." I asked him that is a good question, why would you lie to me about something as small as a letter. I already told you to write her so you can contact your son. Then the MCI guy came on and said that we had 10 seconds left on this call. Since I was crying I didn't even hear the MCI dude. Didn't get a chance to say I love you Shika. Click dead air. Lock down. He had 3 hours to think.
The next call was very different. The first thing out of his mouth was, "So baby, have you decided that I am not worth all this trouble, are you going to leave me?" Every now and then that question comes up. It always breaks my heart. I told him no I would not leave him, that as hurt and angry as I was I still loved him with all my heart. That I would always be here for him and would always be his wife. Then like any good wife I put the nail in the coffin, with "Maybe you should remember that the next time you write bobbiejoebillysueteenamarie."

So there is the story and we wait to see what he says in the morning. Crap I hate sequels.

Christmas the old fashioned way.

DSCF0087.JPG
Originally uploaded by ravenslove.

Christmas the old fashioned fun way. We grew up in layers in our neighborhood. There was the youngest kids. About 6 of them, then came the middle kids, 5 of us. Then the oldest. 7 of them.
So while we had a blast all year round. Christmas was always a real fun time. So this year I went to visit the old neighborhood. Needless to say we had a blast.