Monday, November 06, 2006

The Doubts, the fear, the love

So I played hooky today. The water tank in my apartment was leaking something fierce and here I sit trying to keep everything dry.

And worrying. Sometimes I am sure Raven will be paroled in 2007, come home to me and we will live happily ever after. Then reality sets in. No one promised him that he will come home next parole. Well the lady in charge of parole in 2005 did but how much can we believe her. I have letters from his family and friends. I have sent a letter every month to the board explaining why he should be allowed to come home. All of this still depends on wether the people on the board got laid the night before. Are they happy, is their home life good. Did they fight with their significant other the day before parole board meets. So much depends on the parole board. Very little with the Convict. Raven has taken courses. Lots of courses. He entered prison with nothing. If they let him out he will leave with a GED, Associates, and an electrician certificate. He has taken anger management, parenting as well as any other classes offered. The man's got more education then I do. He hasn't gotten into any trouble for 3 years. His last ticket is me. Establishing a relationship. Which is firmly in place and we are planning on being married as soon as we are able. I love him completely. All of which mean nothing to the board if they are having a bad day.

The good news is if they give him parole they could give him 60 days and out. The bad news is they could give him another two year flop. That would mean another two years of phone calls only no visits. I hate to harp but I haven't seen Raven for three years. Only pictures and we only get them every 6 months. We should be getting some new ones in December.

What happens if he gets another two years. What do I do? I can't even breath at the thought of us not being together. So that is not an option. I suppose I will just learn to survive for two more years.

Lupina, Cochise and I will just continue to wait. Raven is always telling me that the Great Spirit is teaching us a lesson. Apparently It's taking me to long to learn.