parole pressure
I took Saturday off so that a friend and I could work on Raven's parole packet for April. My baby comes up for parole in April, yes, I realize, I just said that twice. That would be, because it scares the hell out of me. D. said it best when I asked her to help me with a letter that Raven had written. It needed to be polished. It was good but, it needed to be great. Now D who is always right on the ball when it comes to anything she puts her mind too; froze. Big time. When I asked her why? She said it was hard when her best friends total mental well being, whether her best friends, man the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with gets out or doesn't could be based on one letter written by her. She froze. I laughed at the time because I thought I understood where she was coming from. Until this week when I started putting all the items in his parole packet.
BAM! Now everything I do could have an impact on the most important person in my life. All of a sudden I can't figure out how to put two words together. Now I have to explain my relationship with Raven to people who already think it's bad. Corrections officer- convict sounds like a bad joke in the making. Except it's not. It's my life, mine and my future husband.
So I try to tell them how he is now a responsible, hard working man. Who only wants a chance to prove that he has changed. That he wants to support his family and start his adult life. Raven has been down 10 years already, down since he was 24 years old. When he went in he was angry. Drinking and drugging. He was an enforcer for a motorcycle club. Definitely not a man you want to take home to your mother. He hasn't been in any trouble since he has been in. Until he met me. Now a relationship between inmate and C/O is against the institutional rules. We only wrote to each other, but, that alone was enough to get him thrown in the hole for 4 months. Enough to get them to refuse to bring him up before the board in August 2004 when he was supposed to come up the first time. Enough to get him raised in security and moved to a new prison they thought was 4 1/2 hours away from me. Now we have to worry if it's enough to get him flopped.
So I am writing letters to the board to let them know that I want him home with me. That he has family and friends who love him and will help to support him in his quest to be an honest individual. Some one who will never return to prison and always be with his wife and any children we may have. So the pressure is on. What if they don't believe me. What if I say something wrong. What if I screw it up and they don't let him come home. He is already likely to get flopped for establishing a relationship with a correctional officer. I sometimes feel bad for what he is going through because of me. Then I think, if he wasn't in this predicament. We wouldn't have each other. That is unacceptable. We were born to be together. In fact Raven and I believe that we have been with each other in many past lifetimes. We will make it through no matter what happens in April at the parole board. If he gets flopped, as he believes he will be, anything under 3 years will make him happy. I will be with him all the way, I would be with him no matter when he gets out. I am praying to the Great Spirit that he gets less. Lets face it I am praying with all my being that they give him time served. If they give him that he would be home in June.
So back to the parole packet, letters of support from family and friends. Job offers. Plans for his life and ours. They want to know where he will live, where he will work. Will he have insurance, life, car, health, hospitalization and how he will use the bathroom daily. You name it they want it in writing. So Saturday and Sunday I have been scrambling to get all of his family to send the letters to me. My family is sending theirs also. I have his birth certificate and am working on getting his social security card. Doing write ups on the city that he will live in and where we will vacation or play. Pictures of Raven, Me and Lupina our dog. My friend DD said that when she was done it will be very impressive and hopefully the board would look and pay attention to our information. They say that 65% of the parole boards turn down inmates for parole. Most boards have their mind made up before they even read the information or meet the inmate. We need to grab their attention and make them aware that Raven is a person, not just a number. That he has a family to come home to. This is the most important presentation I have ever helped prepare. Ok I won't laugh at D anymore. I am feeling the pressure my self.
BAM! Now everything I do could have an impact on the most important person in my life. All of a sudden I can't figure out how to put two words together. Now I have to explain my relationship with Raven to people who already think it's bad. Corrections officer- convict sounds like a bad joke in the making. Except it's not. It's my life, mine and my future husband.
So I try to tell them how he is now a responsible, hard working man. Who only wants a chance to prove that he has changed. That he wants to support his family and start his adult life. Raven has been down 10 years already, down since he was 24 years old. When he went in he was angry. Drinking and drugging. He was an enforcer for a motorcycle club. Definitely not a man you want to take home to your mother. He hasn't been in any trouble since he has been in. Until he met me. Now a relationship between inmate and C/O is against the institutional rules. We only wrote to each other, but, that alone was enough to get him thrown in the hole for 4 months. Enough to get them to refuse to bring him up before the board in August 2004 when he was supposed to come up the first time. Enough to get him raised in security and moved to a new prison they thought was 4 1/2 hours away from me. Now we have to worry if it's enough to get him flopped.
So I am writing letters to the board to let them know that I want him home with me. That he has family and friends who love him and will help to support him in his quest to be an honest individual. Some one who will never return to prison and always be with his wife and any children we may have. So the pressure is on. What if they don't believe me. What if I say something wrong. What if I screw it up and they don't let him come home. He is already likely to get flopped for establishing a relationship with a correctional officer. I sometimes feel bad for what he is going through because of me. Then I think, if he wasn't in this predicament. We wouldn't have each other. That is unacceptable. We were born to be together. In fact Raven and I believe that we have been with each other in many past lifetimes. We will make it through no matter what happens in April at the parole board. If he gets flopped, as he believes he will be, anything under 3 years will make him happy. I will be with him all the way, I would be with him no matter when he gets out. I am praying to the Great Spirit that he gets less. Lets face it I am praying with all my being that they give him time served. If they give him that he would be home in June.
So back to the parole packet, letters of support from family and friends. Job offers. Plans for his life and ours. They want to know where he will live, where he will work. Will he have insurance, life, car, health, hospitalization and how he will use the bathroom daily. You name it they want it in writing. So Saturday and Sunday I have been scrambling to get all of his family to send the letters to me. My family is sending theirs also. I have his birth certificate and am working on getting his social security card. Doing write ups on the city that he will live in and where we will vacation or play. Pictures of Raven, Me and Lupina our dog. My friend DD said that when she was done it will be very impressive and hopefully the board would look and pay attention to our information. They say that 65% of the parole boards turn down inmates for parole. Most boards have their mind made up before they even read the information or meet the inmate. We need to grab their attention and make them aware that Raven is a person, not just a number. That he has a family to come home to. This is the most important presentation I have ever helped prepare. Ok I won't laugh at D anymore. I am feeling the pressure my self.
posted by Ravenslove at 9:56 PM
2 Comments:
agh agh agh! somehow I knew this would be a stressful event but I was still (an still?) unprepared. we'll get through this, girly.
I know girly we will prevail. they just need to let him come home. then we can come visit. our favorite sister.
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