This is so hard!

I got a room mate Saturday 11/10/2007. A guy that my husband sent home from NCCI. A young guy who made a mistake when he was hurting from a broken relationship. We talked for weeks on the telephone, Tuesday's with Ravenslove. Talked about how long he was in, what his crime was and how he wanted to change his life for the better. I told him that it would help having someone to help pay the rent and the bills. I was right it will help. It's also extremely hard. J came home and I got him a job. The same job that was being saved for my husband. Today we went to turn on a cell phone. The same phone I bought and had turned on for my husband. When the board flopped him I had it turned off. Now that J is home we went to have it turned back on. It made all kinds of sense. They would reimburse me the 200 termination fee and J would have a phone. Simple right. Then half way through the transaction I started crying. Here is a man living in my husband's house. Working my husband's job. Using my husband's cell phone. This so hard, so fucking hard. It should be Raven. Should be him living here and doing everything that J is doing. It's just not fair.