scattered day+scattered thoughts= scattered blog.
Raven and I finally got our phone calls under control. This means one call a night, 3 each on Saturday and Sunday. Now I have Wednesday's off. So in the past Raven used to call me a couple of times on Wednesday. I ran errands today, got my nails done and had sushi for lunch. Came home and tried to write a blog.
When I arrived home I found J making a repair to my kitchen window. I haven't seen him since I told him in no uncertain terms that I love my man and want nothing to do with any other man. Other then friendship. He couldn't handle it. So we have not spoken for about 3 weeks. Anyway I come home today and there's J fixing my screen in the kitchen. Apparently Lupina got freaked out about something and pushed the screen out. So when he was done. He asked if I had put the oil in my car. He had checked it about 4 weeks ago and found it to be low. I told him I couldn't find were the oil went. So he offered to help. He put the oil in my car and was talking about my man. He asked what was going on and how long we had been together. He asked what he was in for and what could Raven possibly do for me. I dodged the question and changed the subject. Well he persisted. So I told him its none of his business. But thanks for the help.
Why this whole story, because I miss my man. I am tired of doing everything by myself. Tired of watching after the car. Making sure all bills are paid. Sleeping alone. Not being able to call my love when I want to. of having to wait till some c/o wants to turn on the phones so Raven can call me. Its hard. Now according to the records of the Ohio Parole Board that my man should be home soon. It's just today; it's not soon enough. I just miss my man so much.
I want to see his smile, see his sexy brown eyes sparkle, be held in his arms again. Now that we have slowed down on the phone calls I miss him even more. Now Raven has been pretty good at writing letters again. The only problem is that now I am addicted to his voice. When I don't hear his voice my day is just a little bit dimmer. I do know that when he is home I promise to try and never take for granted that I can hear his voice. Work with him to make our life what we want it to be.
Speaking of when he comes home. The day he is supposed to come home is three days earlier then I am expecting company. KK and Bk are coming to visit we are planning on going to Cedar Point for a couple of days. Now my idea would be to let them know and reschedule so Raven and I could spend the first week or two together by our selves. The other idea is to have the girls bring their brother J with them. You see J is Raven's son. The idea being to let the girls and J come home to our house and just find Raven there. I am not sure I can't figure out what to do. I know that Raven really wants to see his son. I just wonder if it would be better to get him acclimated to his new surroundings with out the chaos of three teenagers in our house.
I called the number the branch manager of Ameriquest gave me and told me to call today. I was supposed to find out where the meeting was on the 13th. They have decided that they are going to do background checks first before they have the meeting. Great more delays. Why do people make it sound like you have the job then slow everything down. Thats just crazy. So I am back to Dam I miss my man. I would like to talk to the man who is my life partner, let him know how I feel about the whole job issue. Get his take on it.
Again I am tired, tired of waiting for what seems like forever to have things in my life be stable. My man said that the parole board will be looking at my stable home. I wanted to scream stable, who are you kidding. At this time in my life everything, I mean everything is unstable. Hopefully the parole board won't notice.
As long as I am rambling, How can I feel like the reason my life is in an upheaval is because the man I love isn't here. While I love my apartment it doesn't seem like home yet. The fact I moved to Columbus even though my family is in another part of ohio. Allot of my life revolves around a man I have never lived with, never even seen out in the free world. Yet my life feels incomplete because he is not here with me. Then there are the fears, will we be able to get along when he gets home.
We both wear our hearts on our sleeves and are very stubborn and sarcastic. We have promised to talk about all that happens in our life. Discuss the issues as they come up. I love this man with all my heart. My life would not be the same with out him. Yet there is a little concern. Not much but a little. I have lived by myself for over a year. Raven has lived in a little cell with another man for 10 years. Thats allot to adjust to.
Speaking of adjusting to. I went to the mail box today to get the mail. Hoping for a letter from my Baby. Pulled the mail out and found a val pac with all kinds of coupons. Then I find it. The summons to a court date. See it's about to happen I am about to be divorced. I have a june 10 pretrial. So 21 years of marriage comes down to this. So today has a happy ending.
I can't wait to be out and free to truly say I belong to Raven. He knows I love him, but how could he believe that I am his if I am still married to another man. So you see Scattered Day, Scattered Blog, Scattered thoughts. good ending.
When I arrived home I found J making a repair to my kitchen window. I haven't seen him since I told him in no uncertain terms that I love my man and want nothing to do with any other man. Other then friendship. He couldn't handle it. So we have not spoken for about 3 weeks. Anyway I come home today and there's J fixing my screen in the kitchen. Apparently Lupina got freaked out about something and pushed the screen out. So when he was done. He asked if I had put the oil in my car. He had checked it about 4 weeks ago and found it to be low. I told him I couldn't find were the oil went. So he offered to help. He put the oil in my car and was talking about my man. He asked what was going on and how long we had been together. He asked what he was in for and what could Raven possibly do for me. I dodged the question and changed the subject. Well he persisted. So I told him its none of his business. But thanks for the help.
Why this whole story, because I miss my man. I am tired of doing everything by myself. Tired of watching after the car. Making sure all bills are paid. Sleeping alone. Not being able to call my love when I want to. of having to wait till some c/o wants to turn on the phones so Raven can call me. Its hard. Now according to the records of the Ohio Parole Board that my man should be home soon. It's just today; it's not soon enough. I just miss my man so much.
I want to see his smile, see his sexy brown eyes sparkle, be held in his arms again. Now that we have slowed down on the phone calls I miss him even more. Now Raven has been pretty good at writing letters again. The only problem is that now I am addicted to his voice. When I don't hear his voice my day is just a little bit dimmer. I do know that when he is home I promise to try and never take for granted that I can hear his voice. Work with him to make our life what we want it to be.
Speaking of when he comes home. The day he is supposed to come home is three days earlier then I am expecting company. KK and Bk are coming to visit we are planning on going to Cedar Point for a couple of days. Now my idea would be to let them know and reschedule so Raven and I could spend the first week or two together by our selves. The other idea is to have the girls bring their brother J with them. You see J is Raven's son. The idea being to let the girls and J come home to our house and just find Raven there. I am not sure I can't figure out what to do. I know that Raven really wants to see his son. I just wonder if it would be better to get him acclimated to his new surroundings with out the chaos of three teenagers in our house.
I called the number the branch manager of Ameriquest gave me and told me to call today. I was supposed to find out where the meeting was on the 13th. They have decided that they are going to do background checks first before they have the meeting. Great more delays. Why do people make it sound like you have the job then slow everything down. Thats just crazy. So I am back to Dam I miss my man. I would like to talk to the man who is my life partner, let him know how I feel about the whole job issue. Get his take on it.
Again I am tired, tired of waiting for what seems like forever to have things in my life be stable. My man said that the parole board will be looking at my stable home. I wanted to scream stable, who are you kidding. At this time in my life everything, I mean everything is unstable. Hopefully the parole board won't notice.
As long as I am rambling, How can I feel like the reason my life is in an upheaval is because the man I love isn't here. While I love my apartment it doesn't seem like home yet. The fact I moved to Columbus even though my family is in another part of ohio. Allot of my life revolves around a man I have never lived with, never even seen out in the free world. Yet my life feels incomplete because he is not here with me. Then there are the fears, will we be able to get along when he gets home.
We both wear our hearts on our sleeves and are very stubborn and sarcastic. We have promised to talk about all that happens in our life. Discuss the issues as they come up. I love this man with all my heart. My life would not be the same with out him. Yet there is a little concern. Not much but a little. I have lived by myself for over a year. Raven has lived in a little cell with another man for 10 years. Thats allot to adjust to.
Speaking of adjusting to. I went to the mail box today to get the mail. Hoping for a letter from my Baby. Pulled the mail out and found a val pac with all kinds of coupons. Then I find it. The summons to a court date. See it's about to happen I am about to be divorced. I have a june 10 pretrial. So 21 years of marriage comes down to this. So today has a happy ending.
I can't wait to be out and free to truly say I belong to Raven. He knows I love him, but how could he believe that I am his if I am still married to another man. So you see Scattered Day, Scattered Blog, Scattered thoughts. good ending.
posted by Ravenslove at 5:25 PM
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