Another go round.

We are still waiting on permission to visit and/or get married. This has been going on for over a year and a half. The newest installment is that the warden says we will have our decision by Friday. The lady who is helping us get visits said that he sounded upbeat and wasn't saying anything negative. My future mother in law also wrote a letter to the warden requesting visits for Raven and I. Maybe this time it will all come together and we will see each other after two years. I miss him.

I wonder what it will be like to be at visiting. I imagine how nervous I will feel picking out what to wear. Will he like my body (changed since last he saw me). My hair, (very long) Will he like Me?
I feel my self sitting on the visiting chairs. The little table next to me. The food from the vending machine all spread out like a little picnic. I wonder will the c/o's know that I use to do what they did. Will they make it hard for us. I close my eyes and go through the entire visit. I have been doing that for two years now. Close my eyes and see him come up to the gate. See his smile, the sparkle in his eyes. Feel myself getting up to walk over to him. My heart beating. Feel the touch of his hands, the pull as he wraps his arms around me. The touch of his lips against mine, his tongue playing with mine. The way I am unable to breath while in his embrace. Coming apart and hearing him sigh. Feeling his caress on my face. We hold hands and walk to the table.

I've heard that six hours goes fast. I know it will be hard to leave him when the visit is over. I just don't know how much harder it could be then not seeing him at all. I love him so much.