Another day in the asylum.
Raven and I have a plan. In case anything happens to him, he will have one of the posse call me and let me know something is wrong. Being in prison gives a whole new meaning to the words "something is wrong". The worse being injury or death, the least being thrown into the hole. I worked yesterday even though it was my day off. So I am sitting outside a restaurant when my phone rings. It's the MCI guy. Not just the MCI guy but the MCI guy on crack. Skipping things he is supposed to say. Long times of silence in between. This call originates_______from a correctional________________institution. I_________have___________________a collect call from Michael. To______________accept this call press__________0. I press 0 and he says, your_________________call is being_______________________________connected. Then the line goes dead. OH HELL NO! What's going on? Why would someone else call me unless Raven is hurt or in Seg. I am almost in tears. (I have a very active imagination.) Has he been stabbed? A fight? Oh shit Dead? Ok so I am a little dramatic as well.
The phone rings again. We go through the whole MCI on crack again, only this time the line stays on.
The first words out of his mouth are "Baby I am ok" Time to breathe again. He proceeds to tell me exactly how fucked up the phones are and that the guys can't use their pins. Everyone tried theirs until they found one guys pin who continued to work. Michael.
Raven and I slip into our normal conversations. I love you, Baby. I love you too. Then I tell him I made a call for one of the guys in his block. This guy's girl just had a baby and they are waiting for visit papers so T can see his new son. Well, when I tell Raven this. His voice gets strange and he says that reminds me. I have news. Do I want the good news or the bad news first. Well I am tired of bad news, but am going on the premise that anything that doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. So I tell him the bad news. He says "our case manager quit, and moved to North Carolina" So that immediately causes me to start crying, you see we have been trying to get visits for over 1 1/2 years. No one would give us the time of day. Except his case manager. She had a plan. I had convinced myself that we would not see each other till he came home in 2007. I wasn't happy, but I accepted it. Then came along The case manager. Bad enough I had to listen to my man talk about another women and say things like. She works really hard. She seems nice. All in answer to criticisms from me. Almost like he was defending her. I hate her most because she gave us hope. Had a plan that sounded feasible. We even thought we may have visits in time for Christmas. She gave us hope, told him the papers were in the out box ready to come to me. Ready to be sent back. Only to let them get dashed again. The papers never showed up. Now she is on her merry way to North Carolina. Yipee for her. BITCH.
In case anyone is wondering I did eventually ask what the good news was. Raven says he knows what to do. So the hope for visits isn't dead. It just got the shit kicked out of it. In the mean time my baby is poking. What's wrong honey? You don't sound like yourself. Are you ok? All this in two calls since the prison is on lock down. When it rains it pours.
You know I just don't want to go there yet. My hopes were so high for visits. I feel almost as sad that the bitch quit as when Raven got flopped. So yes there is a problem. That would be the reason I have been crying off and on for most of the day. It's just that I am tired of crying to Raven. He always says the right things, but I just don't want to stress him out anymore then he already is. So D. and I will talk and until then I am ready for a bright shiny new year. So for now, send the meds, and get the straight jacket. It's just another day in the asylum.
The phone rings again. We go through the whole MCI on crack again, only this time the line stays on.
The first words out of his mouth are "Baby I am ok" Time to breathe again. He proceeds to tell me exactly how fucked up the phones are and that the guys can't use their pins. Everyone tried theirs until they found one guys pin who continued to work. Michael.
Raven and I slip into our normal conversations. I love you, Baby. I love you too. Then I tell him I made a call for one of the guys in his block. This guy's girl just had a baby and they are waiting for visit papers so T can see his new son. Well, when I tell Raven this. His voice gets strange and he says that reminds me. I have news. Do I want the good news or the bad news first. Well I am tired of bad news, but am going on the premise that anything that doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. So I tell him the bad news. He says "our case manager quit, and moved to North Carolina" So that immediately causes me to start crying, you see we have been trying to get visits for over 1 1/2 years. No one would give us the time of day. Except his case manager. She had a plan. I had convinced myself that we would not see each other till he came home in 2007. I wasn't happy, but I accepted it. Then came along The case manager. Bad enough I had to listen to my man talk about another women and say things like. She works really hard. She seems nice. All in answer to criticisms from me. Almost like he was defending her. I hate her most because she gave us hope. Had a plan that sounded feasible. We even thought we may have visits in time for Christmas. She gave us hope, told him the papers were in the out box ready to come to me. Ready to be sent back. Only to let them get dashed again. The papers never showed up. Now she is on her merry way to North Carolina. Yipee for her. BITCH.
In case anyone is wondering I did eventually ask what the good news was. Raven says he knows what to do. So the hope for visits isn't dead. It just got the shit kicked out of it. In the mean time my baby is poking. What's wrong honey? You don't sound like yourself. Are you ok? All this in two calls since the prison is on lock down. When it rains it pours.
You know I just don't want to go there yet. My hopes were so high for visits. I feel almost as sad that the bitch quit as when Raven got flopped. So yes there is a problem. That would be the reason I have been crying off and on for most of the day. It's just that I am tired of crying to Raven. He always says the right things, but I just don't want to stress him out anymore then he already is. So D. and I will talk and until then I am ready for a bright shiny new year. So for now, send the meds, and get the straight jacket. It's just another day in the asylum.
posted by Ravenslove at 3:18 PM
2 Comments:
Damn fine reading, girly. Bring on the meds. Or beer. Or both.
I wish more people would read your insight into prison life and hardships, and really open their minds to the realities that you talk about.
Wonderful job!
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