Where do they think these guys have been? Disney Land
As most my friends know I am part of an online community called PTO (prison talk online). There I am almost invisible. I don't take it personally as most ex law enforcement are. On PTO there are people who have had their men come home. Only to fight with them and eventually leave. There are many times that the fault is totally the man's. Except that allot of times the fault is the woman's. Now this is almost never acceptable to say on PTO.
There was one lady in particular that upset both Raven and I. She went to PTO to garner sympathy. Told a horrible story about how her man face punched her. Of course she got all kinds of responses. How bad he is. How she should call the police and have him arrested.
Then came the question. She wanted to know if there was anyway to save the relationship. She then proceeded to tell the PTO forum that she had hit him first. In the face with a closed fist. Raven for the first time wanted to answer. We posted an intelligent answer. Never once did we say that he had a right to hit her. No one has a right to hit anyone. Especially if they are considering a permanent relationship. He told her to move out. Get counseling for them both. Anger management for them both. If she saw improvement then they could start working toward a relationship. Very sound advice. Now remember that she asked how to save the relationship. You would have thought that we posted that any man could beat the shit out of woman. That is not what Raven said. Raven has never and will never raise an angry hand toward the weaker sex. I explained to Raven that they didn't want to hear what we have to say on PTO. So he asked me to post it here.
So hear goes:
When a man is in prison, they strip them of everything. All belongings and most of their emotions are so messed up, they are scared. The fight flight syndrome is kicking in. It is a feeling they will learn to live with for as long as they are in prison. Men in prison never know what is around the corner. Who may want to hurt them. They can't trust other inmates. They sure can't trust the corrections officers. Once through the doors of the prison they have to fight. Fight to be a part of a group. Fight to prove they won't be a liability in a group issue. Fight to stop from being a bigger stronger inmate's bitch. In prison you don't let anyone touch you. Even an accidently brush as you walk by can be a sign of disrespect. That can't be allowed. So keep someone down for any length of time and you are getting a person who doesn't just let things slide. Letting things slide in prison gets you hurt, fucked or even killed. Now lets bring the men home. Put them with a woman who has no clue what they have been through. Now I am NOT saying that men should be allowed to hit a woman. Neither should a woman be allowed to hit a man. Now hit a man who is free and maybe they will let it slide and just leave. Back a man who has been in prison into a corner and hit them, it's a hole different story. That man is all of a sudden back in prison and being attacked. When they are attacked the fight flight syndrome kicks in. They think they are going to be killed. They don't stop to think that this is someone who supposedly loves me. Wow maybe I shouldn't hit them. They flash back. They strike and they strike hard. Men in prison don't fight to stop the fight. They fight to survive. When that woman hit her man. And I use the her man term loosely. He freaked. He had just been attacked so he fought to survive. He survived but their relationship did not. Now I am thinking that he is very sorry that this happened. Sorry that they are not a couple. But I need to ask, Was this all the man's fault. I don't think so. When a man strikes a women and she hits back. She is cheered as a hero. Finally fighting back. so why is this not the case here? Because the man is stronger. Well the only thing I want to ask this woman is "where do you think your man just spent the last 14 years, Disneyland?"
There was one lady in particular that upset both Raven and I. She went to PTO to garner sympathy. Told a horrible story about how her man face punched her. Of course she got all kinds of responses. How bad he is. How she should call the police and have him arrested.
Then came the question. She wanted to know if there was anyway to save the relationship. She then proceeded to tell the PTO forum that she had hit him first. In the face with a closed fist. Raven for the first time wanted to answer. We posted an intelligent answer. Never once did we say that he had a right to hit her. No one has a right to hit anyone. Especially if they are considering a permanent relationship. He told her to move out. Get counseling for them both. Anger management for them both. If she saw improvement then they could start working toward a relationship. Very sound advice. Now remember that she asked how to save the relationship. You would have thought that we posted that any man could beat the shit out of woman. That is not what Raven said. Raven has never and will never raise an angry hand toward the weaker sex. I explained to Raven that they didn't want to hear what we have to say on PTO. So he asked me to post it here.
So hear goes:
When a man is in prison, they strip them of everything. All belongings and most of their emotions are so messed up, they are scared. The fight flight syndrome is kicking in. It is a feeling they will learn to live with for as long as they are in prison. Men in prison never know what is around the corner. Who may want to hurt them. They can't trust other inmates. They sure can't trust the corrections officers. Once through the doors of the prison they have to fight. Fight to be a part of a group. Fight to prove they won't be a liability in a group issue. Fight to stop from being a bigger stronger inmate's bitch. In prison you don't let anyone touch you. Even an accidently brush as you walk by can be a sign of disrespect. That can't be allowed. So keep someone down for any length of time and you are getting a person who doesn't just let things slide. Letting things slide in prison gets you hurt, fucked or even killed. Now lets bring the men home. Put them with a woman who has no clue what they have been through. Now I am NOT saying that men should be allowed to hit a woman. Neither should a woman be allowed to hit a man. Now hit a man who is free and maybe they will let it slide and just leave. Back a man who has been in prison into a corner and hit them, it's a hole different story. That man is all of a sudden back in prison and being attacked. When they are attacked the fight flight syndrome kicks in. They think they are going to be killed. They don't stop to think that this is someone who supposedly loves me. Wow maybe I shouldn't hit them. They flash back. They strike and they strike hard. Men in prison don't fight to stop the fight. They fight to survive. When that woman hit her man. And I use the her man term loosely. He freaked. He had just been attacked so he fought to survive. He survived but their relationship did not. Now I am thinking that he is very sorry that this happened. Sorry that they are not a couple. But I need to ask, Was this all the man's fault. I don't think so. When a man strikes a women and she hits back. She is cheered as a hero. Finally fighting back. so why is this not the case here? Because the man is stronger. Well the only thing I want to ask this woman is "where do you think your man just spent the last 14 years, Disneyland?"
posted by Ravenslove at 9:03 PM
2 Comments:
You tell 'em, girly! Seriously, there is no call for either sex to use physical violence, but if you do, you ought to be prepared for a reaction. It isn't like the movies where the woman slaps the man across the face and he just stands there. That applies to everyone, not just guys recently released!
Great point! These men/women who have been locked up are always on "point guard!" They are use to being backed in corners with NO choice but to physically protect themselves, or risk serious injury, including death. This physicality is not for kicks, but for survival!
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